Sunday, June 22, 2008

ALL I NEED IS ONE GODDAMN NICKEL

All I need is one lousy goddamn nickel to complete the purchase of this soy latte. If I don't find one in the next five to ten seconds I will be forced to break a dollar, leaving me with a pocketful of heavy change. Please God. Please present me with a nickel, and in turn I'll remember to bring more change with me each morning.

I feel the pressure of the person behind me, his bated breath on the back of my neck as I dig deeply into my left jean pocket (it's the third time I've done so without result.) This is part of a strategy that's worked well in the past: stall until the clerk gives me a break. But I've had this one before, and he's a tough nut to crack. Last time it took close to five minutes, and he looks particularly obstinate today.

Shit! All I need is one nickel! Ok fine I'll break the damn dollar, if you're nickel is so important to your profit margi- wait a minute, what's this? The clerk stepped away for a second, and there's a nickel just sitting in this tip jar.

Done and done. Everyone's happy, especially the guy behind me.

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