Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I can’t understand my British friend Dave, and it’s beginning to affect our friendship in an adverse way. His accent is way too thick, which is particularly annoying since he’s been in America for five years. He should work on it, just as a person with a lisp works on his speech impediment.

It is grating and, at times, inconvenient. Mostly it’s just a lot of me saying, “huh”? in the course of conversation. I probably average 20 – 30 “huhs?” per communication, depending on length. After about the fifth one, he looks at me like I’m an idiot. This is ironic, since Dave’s the idiot for having such a thick accent.

One time I was getting directions to the museum. What sounded like "walk to 82nd street" was really 22nd street, so I walked from 14th to 82nd, all for nothing, all because of him. I was furious. Another time, when we were drunk, he said in his thick, English accent, “I love you man”. I thought he said “I love your mother”, so I punched him in the nose. He was furious.

I see trouble down the road if Dave doesn’t fix this problem. I confronted him about it a few times, but he always has the same response: “It’s YOU who has the accent, mate.” Yeah, right Dave.

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