Wednesday, June 4, 2008

MY CAR IS A VISUAL HISTORY OF ROAD SNACKS

Within my car, you will find a comprehensive history of my accumulated road snacks. From Animal Crackers to Swedish Fish, crunchy KFC skin to spongy Magnolia cupcake bits, there is evidence of virtually everything I've ever eaten on the road, all of which I can trace to a precise date. That white blotch with black chunklets embedded in the floor mat? Choco-chip ice cream, August 12, 2001. It was 95 degrees out so I got an extra large. It was too much, so put it on the passenger side seat. Of course it melted in about two seconds, and when the car came to a stop it spilled to the floor mat. Oops!

Don't limit yourself when inspecting my road snack museum on wheels, for the deeper you dig the more treasures you will find. There is an area of every vehicle that, for lack of a better term, I call the seat-taint. It's the area between when the seat is either all the way forward or all the way back, and you cannot clean it. A brief glimpse at my left seat-taint reveals the only questionable snack in my collection. It is this black goop that must have been soft at one point but now is hard as a rock and permanently adhered, so it's basically a miniature sculpture that kind of resembles a tree with arms. I'm sure you have some such fun surprise on your seat-taints.

It is important to remember the past, and checking out your road snack history is a good way to do it. Great car memories are triggered by little things like Cheese-Its wedged deep into the passenger seat, or a sticky wheel thanks to those damn Cracker Jacks.

1 comment:

V said...

when i bought my last car i found a circa '72 lifesaver, a shriveled shrimp, and a dilauded in the seat taint. top that.

also, the word blogger wants me to type in the little box in order to post this comment is "whoogf." use that in a sentence, and i'll give you a dollar.