Friday, August 15, 2008

LISTEN LADIES, I'M AN AQUIRED TASTE

Listen, ladies. I'm not the kind of guy you're going to like right away. It might take you months, years, perhaps a lifetime to fall for me. But when you do, it'll be damn intense. So just ride out this initial "beginning" time and let's look forward to the good things to come.

As mentioned, I'm an acquired taste. Take for example my habit of burping my name whenever I say it. If you don't know me this might seem strange; however, after a month or two or three, you will find this hilarious, maybe even sexy. Another behavior trait that might take some getting used to: spontaneous yoga poses. Health in body and mind are extremely important to me, and if I feel the need to do a downward dog or upward cobra during dinner, that's what will happen. In the beginning this will be embarrassing; in a month it will be relaxing.

When you think about it, things you like right away rarely last. Remember Beanie Babies? Everyone fell for them right in the beginning. A month later, they were stuffed in boxes, in countless attics and basements. Or the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. Once a hot ticket item is now a peripheral offering in just about every garage sale across America.

Ladies, I am not a George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. I am more like a pair of shoes that hurt like hell in the beginning but feel like a million bucks in a month or two. Or three or four.

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